For we wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this world, against spiritual wickedness in high places. ---Ephesians 6:12

"The age of casual Catholicism is over; the age of heroic Catholicism has begun. We can no longer be Catholics by accident, but instead must be Catholics by CONVICTION." ---Fr. Terrence Henry TOR, Franciscan University of Steubenville

Saturday, December 6, 2008

Gay Bible Parody Tentatively Named After Princess Diana

Wall Street Journal columnist James Taranto has a running feature he calls "Life Imitates The Onion," comparing actual news headlines side by side with "fake news" headlines that have run in the parody newspaper. This story feels like an Onion retread.

There's this film producer in New Mexico, see, and he's writing a sci-fi comedy, in which the whole world turns gay and the religious people burn all the King James Bibles. (If you need a moment to reattach your hind quarters after laughing at those burning bibles, go right ahead before reading on.)

Inspired by his own comic inspiration, writer Max Mitchell decided to retranslate the Bible itself into gay. From Genesis, we have the story of Aida and Eve (and you were expecting Adam and Steve):

"And the Lord God caused a deep sleep to fall upon Aida, and she slept:
and he took one of her ribs, and closed up the flesh instead thereof; and the rib, which the Lord God had taken from woman, made he another woman, and brought her unto the first. And Aida said, 'This is now bone of my bones, and flesh of my flesh: she shall be called Woman, because she was taken out of me. Therefore shall a woman leave her mother, and shall cleave unto her wife: and they shall be one flesh.' And they were both naked, the woman and her wife, and were not ashamed."

While I'm not sure whether he's thought out how to resolve all that early business in Genesis of begetting, I am sure I don't want to know. Even more problematic with Christians is the planned gay New Testament, where things will surely progress from mere sacrilege to outright blasphemy, making us long for the good old days when the big outrage was a certain movie depicting Christ with Mary Magdalene.

Says Mitchell, "There are 116 versions of the Bible, why is any of them better than ours?" The glaring answer, of course, is that Mitchell's rewrite is neither a modern translation or revision of the text but a complete lampoon of what's in the Bible, which is not going to give any comfort to those gays and lesbians searching it for real answers.

Mitchell is calling his book the Princess Diana Bible, ostensibly because of "her many good works", but more likely to cash in on the capital of her good name for free at the sales counter. It remains to be seen how that will play out with the Royal Family and the princess's estate.

More on the "Princess Diana Bible":